Caleb Ross and Minjae Lee
Overview
Caleb Ross and Minjae Lee are best friends whose communication includes touch, music, AAC, vocalization, gesture, and sustained attention. Both live with Lennox-Gastaut syndrome, multiple disabilities, and significant communication differences. Their bond began through video calls and became part of both families’ daily lives after Cal and Jess moved to Baltimore.
Cal, a nonspeaking young man from Portland with hypotonic cerebral palsy and severe epilepsy, is approximately six feet three inches tall and weighs almost 300 pounds. Jae, a multiply disabled young man from a Korean-Chinese family who uses a wheelchair and communicates with significant speech limitations, weighs approximately ninety pounds and stands just over five feet tall. Their physical contrast shapes how they touch, hold, and support each other. Familiarity also helps them recognize meaning in each other’s communication.
Their friendship began through video calls arranged by their mothers in early 2036. Jess and Cal relocated to Baltimore in March 2038, initially moving into the accessible suite attached to the Lee family home. The move allowed the friends to share daily life and brought Jess into the Lees’ care network.
Origins
In early 2036, Jess Ross was increasingly distressed by Cal’s isolation in Portland. Her son, then nineteen and approaching his twentieth birthday, had not had a close peer friendship. While searching disability parent forums late at night for possible connections, Jess found a post from Nari Lee, who lived in Baltimore with her multiply disabled son, Minjae.
The mothers arranged a video call without knowing whether their sons would attend to each other through screens. Cal, who rarely focused on a screen for long, leaned toward his iPad and gave a low, delighted hum. Jae smiled, pointed toward Cal’s image, and said his name. Their responses surprised both mothers.
The calls became weekly, then twice weekly, and eventually nearly daily. Cal settled into his positioning chair with the iPad placed for him and hummed when Jae appeared. Jae wheeled close to his screen, sometimes playing short piano passages and sometimes sitting quietly with Cal. Jess and Nari saw their sons establish a friendship despite the distance between them.
By late spring or early summer 2037, after more than a year of calls, Jess arranged a visit to the Lees. She coordinated Cal’s medical needs and accessible travel for the cross-country trip. The visit would let the friends meet in person and allow Jess to get to know the family with whom Cal had formed a connection.
The moment Jae and Cal met in person outside the Lee family home, both young men shrieked. Cal got out under his own power, staggered toward Jae, and collided with him in an immediate embrace. Cal squeezed harder than he intended; Jae accepted the contact without pulling away. Jess and Nari met beside them and held each other while their sons converted a screen friendship into physical presence.
Dynamics and Communication
Cal and Jae communicate through AAC, body language, gesture, vocalization, speech approximations, and familiar attention. Cal is nonspeaking but has a consistent vocal vocabulary alongside his device use, including “Ma” or “Mama,” “Daaa,” requests, refusals, and pain sounds. Jae uses short spoken combinations and AAC; Korean and Mandarin remain easier than English when his energy or speech access narrows. Both recognize familiar nonword sounds in the other’s communication. Their mutual understanding grows through patience and experience, while unfamiliar language or a difficult message can still require help.
Touch is one way they communicate. Cal often reaches toward Jae when they are near each other and rests a hand on his shoulder, arm, or back. Jae leans into the contact, including when spasms or fatigue make him uncomfortable. Cal may steady his touch in response to Jae’s movements.
They also orient toward each other when seated together. During supported rest, Jae may settle against Cal’s chest while Cal holds him. Their families attend to positioning and Cal’s force control so that both can be comfortable and safe. Jae sometimes falls asleep quickly in the embrace.
Their time together can center immediate experience: a snack, a game, music, touch, or the comfort of being beside each other. During the first Maryland visit, they did not keep the coming separation in mind until Jess reminded Cal that they would leave. Cal struggled to connect an abstract interval of months with the promise of returning. That difficulty coexisted with future wishes and relational understanding. While looking at Jae and Minh’s wedding photographs on a video call, Cal used AAC to say, “i want to get married too someday. like you,” and wanted Jae to play music for him.
Cal’s humming often becomes softer and more melodic near Jae. Jae may use a name, short statement, or laugh rather than a longer spoken sentence. They can also sit together for extended periods while Cal rocks slightly and hums and Jae rests against him; neither requires continuous speech from the other.
Music is another part of their friendship. Jae plays piano for Cal despite the tremors and spasms that can affect his hands. Cal may become still, hum along off-key, or reach toward the piano. Jae watches for his reactions and smiles when Cal hums with him.
Cal’s size and gentleness can give Jae physical comfort, while Jae responds to Cal with affection and attention without treating his size or disability as a reason for fear. These roles are not fixed: each seeks or offers comfort according to his needs and capacity at the time. Their closeness includes preferences and boundaries that their families help them communicate and respect.
Cultural Context
Cal’s Black and white American background and Jae’s Chaoxianzu Korean-Chinese heritage remain part of their distinct family lives. Both also live with Lennox-Gastaut syndrome and use forms of communication that strangers may overlook. Their friendship developed through shared attention, music, and touch without requiring either to set aside his cultural identity. Jess and Nari brought different histories of family, migration, and medical advocacy to the friendship between their households. Jess’s position as a white American mother could afford her institutional trust that Nari, an immigrant mother who had encountered racism and dismissal, could not assume.
Jess and Nari found common ground in the practical and emotional demands of raising sons with complex support needs. Jess could speak directly about exhaustion and fear; Nari offered quiet, consistent attention informed by her nursing background and years of care for Jae. The Korean concept of han gave Nari a way to describe accumulated sorrow in her family life without reducing Jae to that sorrow. Both mothers’ forms of support mattered to their friendship. They compared equipment, treatment, and daily routines while learning the particular family and cultural contexts behind each other’s choices.
Both families relocated in response to their sons’ needs, though under different circumstances. The Lees moved from Tianjin to Baltimore in early 2034 to seek specialized medical care for Jae. Jess and Cal moved from Portland to Baltimore in March 2038 so Cal could remain close to Jae and join a wider care community. Each move involved separation from an established home and support network as well as the possibility of more sustained care and connection.
Shared History and Milestones
First Video Call (Early 2036)
On the first call, Cal leaned toward his screen and hummed with interest. Jae pointed toward him and said something that sounded like “Hi! Hi, Cal!” Jess and Nari noticed that both attended to each other. The call lasted about ten minutes before Cal’s attention shifted, and the mothers arranged another for the following week.
Building a Video Friendship (Spring 2036–Early 2037)
Over the next year, the video calls became part of both young men’s routines. Cal became visibly alert when Jess announced, “Time to see Jae,” and settled into his positioning chair. Jae wheeled toward his computer, sometimes preparing to play piano and sometimes ready to sit with Cal through the call. Mateo Garcia, Marisa’s son, sometimes joined them. The three friends shared time across pauses and conversation, with Mateo talking, Jae commenting, and Cal humming.
During these calls, Jae occasionally played simple melodies and watched Cal’s face on the screen for a response. Cal hummed along, his sounds following or diverging from Jae’s notes.
The mothers sometimes spoke with each other while keeping their sons within sight or hearing. Nari and Jess developed a friendship of their own and discussed adaptive equipment, insurance, medication side effects, seizures, and the isolation of primary caregiving.
First Visit to the Lee Home (Late Spring or Early Summer 2037)
When Jess and Cal arrived after the long trip from Portland, Cal was exhausted and Jae had fallen deeply asleep after waiting for him. Nari woke Jae with the news that Cal was outside. Cal stood, staggered toward him, and hugged him with enough force that Jess worried about Jae’s much smaller body. Jae remained in the embrace.
That first day established patterns that would define their friendship. Jae offered Cal his recliner because Cal looked exhausted. During later periods of rest, Cal wrapped around Jae with deliberate gentleness, and Jae settled quickly against him. With positioning and supervision from their families, both could sleep for longer stretches in physical contact.
Mall and Disney Store Outing
During the visit, Jess, Nari, and Minh took both young men to a nearby shopping mall in an accessible van. At the Disney Store, Cal’s attention fixed on a large Mufasa plush. He pointed, spread his arms to indicate its size, signed that he wanted it, and vocalized with the particular insistence Jess recognized as a serious request.
Jae noticed Cal’s fascination and told Nari in Mandarin that he wanted to buy the plush for his friend. His album and documentary royalties were held in a managed account; Nari transferred a bounded amount to the spending card the family used to support Jae’s financial agency and helped him complete the purchase. Jess reached for her own wallet and began to object, then stepped back after Nari confirmed that this was Jae’s money and decision. Jae stated that Mufasa was his gift for Cal. Cal clutched the plush to his chest, watched Jae, bounced, and hummed with visible joy.
Cal carried the giant Mufasa throughout the remainder of the outing and visit. The plush was shipped to Portland after Cal and Jess left rather than taken on the plane. When it arrived during Cal’s withdrawal after the separation, he pulled it close and laughed for the first time since Baltimore.
Ice Cream Shop Fan Encounter
The same outing continued at a local ice cream shop after Jae asked Cal directly whether he wanted ice cream. Jae ordered mint chocolate chip and remembered that Minh wanted strawberry with sprinkles, making Minh blush and Cal laugh. A young woman then approached after recognizing Jae from his piano work and documentary. She mentioned that her brother also had seizures. Nari checked the greeting and photograph request with Jae, and he agreed.
As the woman positioned herself next to Jae’s wheelchair and her friend aimed the phone camera, Cal moved into the frame with Mufasa and leaned toward Jae. The woman laughed and welcomed him into the photograph. The image captured Cal beaming with the plush lion while Jae laughed beside him.
Jae swatted playfully at Cal and laughed, “Caaal! Too big!” On the drive home, Cal repeatedly opened the picture on his iPad, enlarged Jae’s face and his own, and replayed the captured “Oh my gosh!” Jae, drowsy beside him, murmured, “Caaal funny.” Cal’s deliberate return to the faces and sound made the photograph one of his treasured records of the visit.
Cal’s Meltdown, Fainting, and the Offer of the Suite
The visit lasted nearly two weeks, with both young men settling into a comfortable routine. Cal slept through the first night and continued managing longer stretches than Jess expected, although he still experienced a drop seizure during the visit. His agitation decreased in the Lee household, where his support needs and communication did not isolate him from his friend.
When Jess reminded Cal that they would soon fly home to Portland, he repeatedly signed “Where?” He appeared to have understood the Lee home, with Jess and Jae present, as a place of comfort and belonging. The promised return after a period of months did not ease his distress at the immediate separation.
Cal began shouting and crying, swinging his arms and kicking at the recliner’s footrest. Jess tried to steady his hands and help him slow his breathing. He continued sobbing and shaking, with his face reddened and wet with tears and mucus.
His breathing became fast and shallow. Tingling and stiffness in his fingers frightened him, and he gripped Jess’s arms while vocalizing his distress. He then vomited onto his shirt and lap. Vomiting was especially upsetting for Cal because of the loss of control, choking sensation, smell, and mess he could not clean up himself; it intensified his panic.
Jae began crying in another room after hearing Cal’s distress. Cal tried to get up and reach him, but nausea and his own physical distress interfered. His heart pounded, his vision blurred, and he became unsteady.
From the doorway, Minseo, Jae’s older sister and a first-year medical student, saw Cal’s skin turn gray and called, “He’s going—!” When Cal went limp, Jess could not support his nearly 300-pound body alone. Joon-Ho moved under his torso while Minseo guided his head to keep it from striking the floor.
Cal lay limp on the carpet, breathing shallowly and irregularly. Jess, shaking, said, “He just—he went out—oh God—” Minseo checked his pulse and told her, “He fainted. He hyperventilated, panicked, and fainted. He’s going to come back. Jess, breathe. He’s okay.”
Joon-Ho and Minseo positioned Cal on his side, a maneuver that required both of them because of his size. Jess knelt beside his head, brushed the damp curls from his forehead, and said, “I’m here, baby, Mama’s right here.” Minseo checked his fast but present pulse again and reassured Jess: “He’ll wake up in a minute or two. Just stay with his face. Talk to him.”
As Cal regained consciousness, his eyelids fluttered and he whimpered while reaching into the air. He looked disoriented, with unfocused eyes, gray skin, and breathing interrupted by sobs. Jess held his hand against her chest and told him he was safe. Cal searched for her face and pressed his palm to her cheek, apparently seeking confirmation that she was there.
He remained restless and upset after waking, moaning and pressing a hand to his chest. His lingering nausea left him feeling as if he might vomit again without relief. Jess recognized his particular whimper and slight rocking as signs of the symptom he found especially difficult to bear.
Jess held a straw while Cal took hesitant sips of water. The cool water helped clear the taste of vomit. Exhausted, he leaned against her and then deliberately signed Jae, asking to see his friend.
Across the hall, Jae was already experiencing a severe fatigue crash triggered by hearing Cal’s anguish. Minh and Nari helped him into bed while his speech slurred into barely intelligible fragments. After Cal regained consciousness and asked for Jae, the adults supported him in going to Jae’s room.
Cal sat on Jae’s bed and lifted the smaller young man against his chest. Joon stepped forward instinctively, but Minseo stopped him after recognizing that Cal was holding rather than hurting Jae. Cal buried his face in Jae’s hair and hummed until both young men drifted toward sleep.
Jess cried as she watched the friends settle after Cal’s collapse and Jae’s fatigue crash. Nari touched her shoulder. Both mothers had seen how strongly the separation and the ensuing crisis affected their sons.
Later that night, after Cal and Jae had slept for hours together, Joon-Ho said directly, “The apartment is there.”
Jess asked, “The… apartment?”
Nari initially interpreted his comment as a suggestion they could not act on so quickly: “He means—we can’t just uproot our lives. It isn’t that simple.”
Joon-Ho corrected her: “Not what I said.”
He was offering the accessible suite attached to their home, where Jess and Cal were already staying, as a possible permanent home. Jess understood that the offer could keep Cal close to Jae and provide both of them with a wider community.
Jess covered her mouth and looked between Nari, Joon-Ho, and Cal, who was still sleeping with his face against Jae’s hair. Nari nodded, and Jess took the offer seriously.
“I don’t know what to say,” Jess said.
“Say you’ll think about it,” Nari replied.
That night, Jess called Logan Weston from the attached suite and asked him to include Charlie Rivera. The couple had paid for her accessible rental van and understood disability from the inside. She needed to hear from people who lived this life after her Oregon family warned that she was rushing and imposing on the Lees.
Charlie told Jess: “Mamá, disabled joy is rare. When it shows up? You fight for it. Don’t you dare let anybody make you feel guilty for wanting more for your kid. Especially when ‘more’ is just—happiness.”
Logan added: “If Cal’s thriving in community? That’s not selfish. That’s survival. That’s what keeps disabled kids alive, honestly—having people who get it.”
Their words helped Jess commit to the conclusion she had reached during the visit: she and Cal would return to Portland to transfer his care and close out their home, but they would not remain there. Charlie and Logan came to the Lee home the following day and met Cal in person.
Separation, Mufasa, and Suite Construction (Late 2037)
After the first visit, Jess and Cal returned to Portland to plan the move. Cal became withdrawn: his vocalizations and engagement decreased, and he slept more. Jess understood the increased sleep as withdrawal rather than restorative rest. Worried about his decline after the sustained companionship of the visit, she sent photographs to the Lees.
The giant Mufasa that Jae had bought during the mall outing was shipped to Cal in Portland because it was too large for the return-flight luggage plan. When the package arrived, Cal clutched the lion and finally showed signs of joy again, humming, rocking, and laughing with the plush pressed to his chest.
Jess sent a photograph to the Lee family group chat. Jae responded with a heart emoji and a message asking to FaceTime. His typing showed the effort the message had cost him, and Jess understood that he wanted to see Cal.
Jae was crying when the call connected and initially spoke in a mix of Mandarin and English. After Minh reminded him that Jess and Cal did not understand Mandarin, he asked through tears, “Cal… miss… when come back?”
Cal hummed and pressed his hand to the iPad while Jae cried on screen. Jess recognized Cal’s low, sad sound as an expression of loneliness. Jae’s fragmented speech and Cal’s touch and humming gave both families a way to recognize how much the friends missed each other.
Cal and Jess made a second Baltimore visit in late 2037 while contractors expanded the Lees’ attached suite to give Cal his own room. Jae sat just outside the construction zone with headphones and his AAC device because he wanted to remain near the work being done “For Caleb.” Minh and Nari offered quieter space, but he initially stayed until the hammering and drilling caused severe sensory distress. Joon-Ho helped him into the garden, where the distress developed into a migraine and Jae clung to his father through the pain. Cal and Jess subsequently returned to Portland to complete remote medical coordination and the remaining move preparations.
The FaceTime calls became more frequent while the families were apart. They maintained contact, although Jess continued to see Cal withdraw between calls. His response reinforced her decision to complete the Baltimore move.
Move to Baltimore (March 2038)
Between late 2037 and early March 2038, Jess coordinated the transfer of Cal’s care, worked with Baltimore specialists, packed their Portland apartment, and arranged for his equipment, medications, and supplies to remain available during the move. She also said painful goodbyes to Marisa and Mateo Garcia and the other people in their Portland support network. The accessible suite had to be prepared for Cal’s needs before they arrived.
When Cal settled into the suite, Jae wheeled in, smiled, and said, “Cal! Stay!” Cal relaxed, hummed, reached toward him, and pulled him close. Cal and Jess later moved into Noah Donelly’s rowhouse across the street, remaining within the same daily community.
Daily Life After the Move
After the move, the friends developed shared routines. Jae wheeled over to “check on Cal”; they spent afternoons sitting together or listening to Jae play piano, and they watched shows in the evenings. Their attention to a show’s plot could vary, while the shared time remained valuable to them.
They have slept beside each other multiple times in a week when both wanted the closeness. Cal has settled into deeper sleep with Jae against him, and Jae has rested more easily during some periods of fatigue while Cal held him. The arrangement requires careful transfers, positioning, and supervision; Jess and the Lees developed routines for making it safe.
Their friendship gives both young men peer companionship that had been difficult to find. Jae responds to Cal’s communication and preferences without fear of his size. Cal accepts Jae’s variable energy and offers physical comfort when Jae wants it. Their differing support needs remain present in the friendship without defining its limits.
Privacy and Wider Community
The friendship between Cal and Jae exists primarily in the private sphere of their families and immediate community. Jae’s Tianjin Juilliard training, recordings, performances, and documentary brought him public recognition; Cal shared one encounter when he joined a fan photograph during their first mall outing. Their friendship was not itself a public project. It remained intimate, personal, and protected by families who understood that both young men needed their privacy respected.
Within the Baltimore disability community and the extended CRATB network, Cal and Jae are often seen together. Visitors to the Lee household also encounter Cal as part of its chosen family. Charlie Rivera welcomed him with warmth and teasing affection after receiving one of Cal’s enthusiastic hugs. The wider network treated Cal as a member of the community with relationships and preferences of his own.
Although Jae’s career is public, the friendship itself remains largely private. The families have not presented it as a public account of disability or required the young men to perform their closeness for others. That privacy gives them more control over who sees and interprets their relationship.
Friendship and Separation
Cal and Jae share experiences of disability, communication barriers, and limited access to peers. Familiarity lets them respond to each other’s expressions without requiring conventional speech at every moment. Both also sometimes need support to clarify a message or manage a difficult day.
Jae was Cal’s first close peer friend. His casual affection, willingness to be held, and laughter at Cal’s antics gave Cal a relationship beyond medical care or pity. Cal often relaxed when he held Jae, and Jess recognized his contentment in his posture and humming.
For Jae, Cal offers safety and acceptance that does not depend on his musical work. Jae can feel the pressure of being recognized as “the talented one” and of knowing how much his family has sacrificed. He sometimes fears disappointing or exhausting others. Cal seeks his company, touch, and music when he can play, and ordinary shared time when he cannot.
Physical touch and shared time are central to their affection, alongside intentional gifts and AAC expressions of love and friendship. Cal holds Jae, curves toward him during rest, and orients toward him when they share a room. Jae leans into the contact, seeks Cal when tired or frightened, and plays music for him. Buying Mufasa with his own earnings was a deliberate gift. Cal’s forehead pressed to Jae’s after receiving it was his strongest expression of affection and gratitude.
The principal strains on their friendship come from separation, medical crises, sensory distress, and unequal capacity on a particular day. Cal’s meltdowns can frighten Jae, and Jae’s fatigue crashes can leave him unable to interact even when Cal wants him. Both can feel hurt, express a preference, or refuse; those capacities are not absent because they communicate differently. Their families help balance closeness with each person’s immediate need for care, and the friends return to one another as the crisis passes.
Mateo’s withdrawal from their calls during his adolescence was another loss Cal had to navigate. Mateo struggled with his disability identity and drew away from the disabled peers he had known. Cal repeatedly looked for him on calls and asked for “Mati” through his AAC picture symbol. When Mateo did not appear, Cal vocalized his distress; explanations that Mateo was busy or tired did not resolve his hurt. Jae remained a consistent friend through that period, although Cal still missed Mateo.
Their ordinary time together also had meaning for each friend’s history. Cal had lived with isolation and the loss of his father; Jae faced pressure associated with being recognized as an exceptional musician and awareness of his family’s sacrifices. Sitting together, resting, and enjoying music gave each companionship that did not depend on performance or productivity.
Health and Access
Both live with Lennox-Gastaut syndrome and experience multiple seizure types. Medication schedules, monitoring, and the possibility of acute illness affect when and how they spend time together. Jess and the Lees recognize the vigilance and exhaustion involved in each other’s care.
Their shared diagnosis gave both young men a bodily familiarity with seizures, but it did not make witnessing the other person’s seizure emotionally easy. During Cal’s drop seizure on the first visit, Jae became frightened, cried, and developed an anxiety attack with worsening spasms. Their families treated recognition and fear as compatible rather than assuming that lived experience eliminated distress.
Their differing presentations of cerebral palsy shaped their physical dynamic. Cal’s hypotonic CP caused low tone and extensive support needs; he used a wheelchair full-time but could sometimes stand and take a few unsteady steps with close support and strong immediate motivation. Jae’s spastic CP caused tight muscles, tremors, and difficult movement while allowing functional use of his wheelchair and some voluntary movement. Cal’s large, soft body could support Jae’s smaller frame during supervised rest, while Cal’s size and inconsistent force control required the adults around them to remain attentive.
Both young men live with significant communication barriers, but their access differs. Cal combines AAC, vocalizations, gestures, body language, and a repertoire of speech approximations. Jae uses AAC for complex language as well as shorter spoken combinations and nonword sounds. Illness, fatigue, motor difficulty, and cognitive demands can narrow either person’s output. Familiarity lets them recognize meaning in touch, attention, and sound without making conventional speech the price of companionship.
Their families coordinate care so the friends can spend time together. Shared rest requires safe transfers, positioning that protects skin and breathing, and seizure monitoring. Outings require accessible van transport and enough adults to meet both young men’s needs. The families made those arrangements part of their routines because regular contact mattered to Cal and Jae.
Simultaneous medical needs can require one parent to help the other’s son while a primary caregiver is occupied. Cal’s distress can frighten Jae, while Jae’s fatigue may require quiet when Cal wants his company. The families adjust contact to each person’s immediate needs and coordinate care across both households.
Changes After the First Visit
Meaning of Cal’s Fainting Episode
Cal’s meltdown, fainting, and request for Jae after regaining consciousness changed how the families understood the friendship. They had already seen that the friends enjoyed each other’s company; the crisis showed how intensely Cal experienced the prospect of separation.
The incident made Cal’s understanding of relationship, loss, and longing visible to people who might otherwise overlook it. Jess had known he was attached to Jae, but his distress and deliberate request to see him after fainting showed that Jae’s presence met a need different from the reassurance Jess could give him as his mother.
For Jess, the collapse sharpened a recognition that medical safety and her devoted care could not replace peer friendship. She had once underestimated how urgently Cal might need that relationship because of his cognitive and communication differences. The visit showed her the importance of belonging alongside his physical care and helped her decide to move.
Effect of the Move
The relocation changed their friendship from scheduled video contact to regular in-person time. After the move, they could see each other when both wanted to and their health allowed it.
Physical proximity gave them more opportunities to learn each other’s sensory preferences, rest positions, and comfort needs through experience. They developed shared routines with more room for their own choices, although adults continued to provide necessary care and support.
The move also brought the households into a shared care network. The Lees welcomed Jess and Cal as family and helped make regular contact possible while the adults coordinated each young man’s complex care. The network gave both families more people to rely on than they had when the friendship existed only through calls.
Future Uncertainties
Both young men live with conditions that can involve life-threatening medical crises. Their families are aware that Cal could experience a fatal seizure and that Jae’s combination of conditions carries serious risks, without treating either possibility as a predicted outcome. They generally keep those fears out of conversations with Cal and Jae while valuing the time the friends have together.
The families also consider how transfers, positioning, and supervision may need to change as the young men’s bodies and health needs change with age. Cal’s size already makes some transfers demanding, and Jae’s variable symptoms can affect what he can tolerate. Jess and the Lees intend to adapt their support so that physical care continues to make room for the friendship.
Lasting Effects
Cal and Jae’s friendship has affected their families and the people who care for them. It shows how peer connection can be sustained through AAC, sound, touch, and shared routines alongside medical and personal care.
For Jess, the friendship changed what she believed was possible for Cal. Moving from Portland meant leaving familiar people and rebuilding care systems, but it offered Cal regular contact with Jae and a wider community. Jess came to treat his quality of life and peer relationships as central concerns alongside medical stability.
For the Lees, welcoming Cal and Jess expanded their household’s chosen family. Cal offered Jae a peer relationship that parental care could not supply. Their care responsibilities increased, while the friendship brought companionship and affection into daily family life.
Within the broader CRATB chosen family, Charlie’s welcome to Cal and Logan’s advice to Jess placed the friendship within a larger network of disabled community and mutual support. Their involvement helped Jess act on the move and gave Cal additional relationships in Baltimore.
Their friendship also contradicts assumptions that substantial cognitive, communication, or medical support needs preclude a meaningful peer relationship. Both young men express preference, affection, distress, and refusal in ways the people close to them can recognize and support.
The families’ awareness of medical risk includes concern about how either friend would experience the other’s death. Cal’s difficulty with abstract explanations would not erase his recognition of Jae’s absence or his grief at losing contact. Jae could likewise understand a death yet struggle to express his grief through speech. Neither young man’s communication differences would make that loss less real.
Their continuing relationship is visible in ordinary moments: Cal humming while Jae plays piano, the friends resting together with careful positioning, and each attending to the other’s sounds and gestures. Those routines give both young men companionship on terms shaped by their own preferences and needs.